Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Say what you need to say

This post is inspired by a post I found on (I believe that's the correct website, it's the Single Dad Laughing blog).

How many times have you lied about yourself or your family to appear more perfect? Have you hidden things about yourself so that you don't have the bear the shame of being.... well, normal?

I guess we can call this post, a cleansing. If you wish, leave a post (with your name, or anonymous) and fess up to something. The writer of that blog owned up to a lot of things, some more serious than others. It would only be write for me to own up to some things, since I am asking all of you to do the same.

I used to go through a period of time where I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to end my life, and looking back, most of it was trivial stuff. I had a bad day at school, or my boyfriend dumped me. When you're a teenager, that seems like such life-altering stuff. And it is, but instead of ending your life, it makes you part of who you will be in your adult life.

I am jealous of a family member's relationship. They seem truly perfect, never fighting or really even disagreeing. I feel horrible for almost hoping that their marriage isn't as perfect as it seems. I am NOT saying I hope there's major issues, just regular everyday stuff.... like he comes home and walks on the clean floor with muddy shoes. I had somebody else tell me that they look at the marriage I mentioned and wish their marriage was the same. I told them that they can't compare themselves to somebody else because the grass isn't always greener, but I wish I could have it easy like their marriage appears.

I yell at my son sometimes and don't even know why I am yelling. I feel like a horrible parent, but it sort of slips out. I think if I worked, even part time, I would be a better parent. Being with a toddler from the time they wake up, until they go to bed... well, it's a tough job. It is much tougher than I thought it would be.

So, what do you want to own up to?

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